So-so, I'd say.
I mean, shut up, it's pretty great. I can run! I got over the fact that it is crazy cold outside. I've picked so many ice balls out of my eyelashes. I had to get contacts again because I couldn't run in the cold wearing my glasses (they fogged up, and also got really cold and hurt my face). Icy roads became less of a problem once I figured out how to "see" which patches of white were going to be slick, and which would be crunchy and safe. Only two drivers swerved as if they were going to hit me! (Idiot-holes).
Let's talk about what's been going on...
Stuff That Isn't Going So Great
Not because I like to lead with a negative, but let's get it out of the way first.
→ My tempo times are not where they need to be.
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| Those times written in are JUST for the tempo, not factoring in warm up and cool down :/ |
I need to be at 7:22, but I just can't sustain it for 15-20 minutes and that's so, so frustrating. I think about going to the gym to work on a treadmill and force myself along, but I don't like the treadmill (seriously who does), it takes me out of the cold (where I need to be acclimated), and it seems like it's asking for trouble. Plus I always get this fantasy when I'm running that if I trip, my braid will get caught under the tread and will rip my scalp off.
Out there, I'm trying to push myself, to just keep going and move your damn legs, and when I get back I feel worked out, but also disappointed. I keep wondering, am I listening to myself and doing right? Or am I giving up too soon?
This is the kind of thing where running alone might be an error.
→ My shape changed and it changed how I felt
At first this was a good thing. I slimmed down. A LOT. I am truly not doing this for vanity, but I definitely felt good about myself, and a little bit shocked at how differently I looked when I compared with photos from last spring or summer.
I kept changing, though. Now, I'm flabby. Really flabby. It's as if my body is eating my muscles as fast as I make them, and leaving the fat, which I'm pretty sure is a thing that happens. I am flabby and I hate it so so much. It's weird. I didn't hate my body when I was heavier and more lazy, but now that I've gotten in shape and am smaller, it's... easier to see? bits that I really hate. Luckily, I don't hate my self, just the bits where I look in the mirror and see them and think What is your DEAL???!?! WHY ARE YOU HERE???!?! I definitely feel less confident about my body and how it looks, and I worry that that mindset trickles down into having less confidence about what my body can do.
Again, doing this on my ownsome might be an error here. Google has lots of sites that will tell you about keeping muscle while cutting fat, and while most of it is hokum that is trying to sell you something, it's also pointed out a few more things that I need to consider...
→ I'm not eating properly
I need to work on balancing my diet and including enough protein. I went vegetarian (with very rare bits of fish) last fall and I don't think I'm doing it as well as I could be (from a health perspective). Of COURSE my body is eating my damn muscles.
→ I'm not building up more core / need more work that isn't just running.
LETS TALK ABOUT THE GOOD STUFF NOW
→ I started doing work that isn't just running ;)
Did you see that coming? I started doing a 30-day workout challenge... actually, to tell the truth, I'm doing 4 of them at once, because one didn't feel like enough work for me! I've been on it for 8 days now and although I see no results, I feel the mental satisfaction of doing work... so that definitely helps with confidence (although the mirror still makes me feel weird).
→ I live on my own
I'm working as a house-sitter, and I'm applying to get an apartment when this gig is up. This situation gives me more control over my environment, and my eating, and my... everything! It lowers my stress.
→ I got a Garmin GPS watch and it changed everything
I can't remember if I talked about this earlier, but I got one over the Christmas sale season and it rooooooocks!! I got the Forerunner 620 and I looooooove it. My friend got the 630 and it's even cooler, so maybe once this one has run its course I'll upgrade to the... well, to whatever the next one is, hahahaha. I like nerding out over the numbers and watching things be really accurate. I'm trying to decide if I want to pick up a HR band and maybe a foot pod to get MAXIMUM DATAS. Not having to carry my phone to get an accurate tracking? Wicked. Being able to do speed work without having to guess, or find a track? Magic.
It also forced me to upgrade my entire computer system, which I had been putting off for... YEARS. Just so I could use the Garmin Connect site. I was annoyed at first, but being able to design my own workouts with excruciating detail has been AWESOME. AND, everything else I do on my computer has been upgraded as a result (Hello iCloud!). I also love that I can look at each lap of my running instead of just a big jumble, as long as I parse it out beforehand in the workout design.
On that note...
→ I've been CRUSHING my speedwork
My tempo / strength might be in the trash, but my speed work is awesome. So far all my laps are bang-on where they need to be and my averages are so good. I also took the advice that I read somewhere of having your rest intervals be half the time of your strides, rather than using distance to measure your rest. This definitely stopped me from putzing around. It makes the whole effort harder. I love speed days! I just wish I could love tempo days too.
→ The weather is getting better
I've had two runs recently that were above freezing!! SO NICE!! I had to take off my hat halfway through one of them, bliss!!
→ Running friends?
So far I haven't been able to get any of the ladies at work to come with me to run club, but I've been enjoying run club on my own... it's a good way to SLOOOOOWWW DOWN which is always a challenge on your own. I always feel awesome on run club runs, once I warm up and get in the groove, my body just cruises along like a happy little locomotive. I wouldn't say we're bestie friends yet, but I like the people in the club and it's something I look forward to (when I can make it up to the cities).
→ Consistency
In the past 6 weeks, there have been only 2 days when I switched my running schedule around, and only 2 days when I had to go inside and face the treadmill. BANGIN'! I love being able to tick things off and keep myself on track.
That's pretty much life these days... I don't know if I'm going to hit my goal for the 5K coming up, but I'm optimistic that at least I'll PR.
