Tapering

I don't want to blog about only milestones...

Here is the crappiest part I've encountered so far: the part where you DON'T get to run.

I know. WHAT?

You'd think it'd be a relief not to have to do my super-long run on Sundays now. Actually, I wasn't supposed to run last Sunday, and I went out and did it anyway. But today I won't, because last night my friend looked me dead in the eye and said "TAPER!", to which I said "Fine, fine, alright already!"

Then he asked me if I was excited about my race in 1 week.

No... I'm not excited. What is excited? Is it looking forward? Is it wanting to do something eagerly? I don't feel these things... I'm going to turn up in the morning of the race feeling anxious and cold, probably. I'm not sure how I feel about it, really. I haven't been thinking about the actual race too much, except when I'm out on the trails, running hills, thinking "Ah, the elevation, it won't be like this, it'll be different", and wondering about how fast I'm going to be able to go. I want to go fast, no lie.

Then he asked me about my race plan.

What race plan?

No, shut up, I know about race plans. Sort of. My plan is to run the race. And eat and drink stuff along the way...? That's... I just can't focus on that kind of information. I don't understand it. I mean... I ate some gummies on my longer runs lately, and I also tried a Stinger waffle, and the difference was, I hated the waffle because it was dense and gross. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely feel the difference between having nothing, and having my small snack and handheld water bottle along with me. But having a plan to eat this at that time, or do certain things... it doesn't register with me.

I'm just... urgh. I'm happy that someone is coming along to support me on this, but also, my traditional method of operation is to go out with both feet and just let me fuck this up on my own terms already.

Is this what it is to have friends? So inconvenient.

(I jest. I'm grateful for the support of friends. I'm just not used to it, and it makes me crabby and anxious to rely on other people when I'm fucking up).

(I'm trying to get used to community and support. I signed up for a local run club... and then got work scheduled for every night that they meet. WHY).



Anyway. Tapering.

My legs are achey so I am glad not to be running today. Actually my whole body feels like hell, I'm not been doing well lately. I ate my breakfast, and I'm going to do some workouts from darebee.com... I think I found them on Tumblr? Someone told me recently about November Project, which although it sounds awesome, it also sounds like everything that I hate (sweating in the freezing-ass cold, group hugs, huge masses of people, shouting)... I'm tempted to try it once anyway, just to see. From what I see on Darebee, you can hit the same levels by ramping up how much you do. The only trick is that you have to motivate yourself instead of relying on a group. I've got the Chase workout and the Imperator Furiosa workout printed out.

Anyway. Gosh. The time flew by from writing.

Thanks for reading

Week Whatever

I left my schedule at home (I'm away from home this week) so I don't know exactly which week it is, but I do know I need to do a 20 minute controlled run, and then 10X100m strides... Or was it 200m?

Anyway, hey! It's been a rocky couple months on the old running front. I had to adjust to a LOT: trail running, running without headphones, running for HOURS rather than minutes, all balanced with work and job hunting and travel and friends and all the various ups and downs that come with having a personal life.

I'd like to pretend that I'm blogging now as some sort of significant update, but actually, it's REALLY cold outside and I don't want to go out and run quite yet. I spent the past 40 minutes googling stuff about ultra running, and running plans, and looking at ways to push harder (which is pretty silly when you're doing it as a distraction to keep yourself from actually going out and PUSHING... but as I said, it's cold today).

The half marathon was a few weeks ago, and man it was tough. The trail was beautiful, but the hills were not "rolling", as advertised... they were steep! Additionally, I was feeling really alone and lonely, and struggled mentally for a good portion of the race. Luckily I met a friend who ran with me for a bit, and she helped me not curse myself out for struggling.

My official time was 2:14:52, for 12.4 miles. Not scruffy, but not my dream either.

So that was that.

Next up is the marathon on November 1. I'm concerned, but not freaking out. Mainly my problems right now are where to sleep (hotels are very expensive, and I'm rubbish at camping) and what to wear. I think I might be able to make a bed in the back of my car? I'm still having a ponder about that, but I could practice in my driveway at least. And what to wear... well clothes, obviously. Probably the same stuff I've been training in.

Although I write this from a couch (in full running kit, with only thoughts of tonight's dinner in my head), I'm thinking about running... an ultra marathon. Or two.

My brain looks at a 50K or a 55K and thinks, "What's 4-8 more miles?"

There's one that happens almost literally in my backyard about midway through the year. And there's one in Utah on Valentine's Day, and another in CA in March that both are rated a bit "easier" ...

All my friends who I talked to have been running for years, and train hard. I'm impatient to get my time in, to be stronger and faster. I want to push myself and have repeated goals. Have I mentioned lately that I don't even like running all that much? But looking forward to challenges is addicting. And I've only been doing it for these past 5 months.

Good grief it's nearly 5 pm. I should get out and run... the hell am I doing, talking like this!!